How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

Divorce is difficult enough for couples, but it can be especially confusing and distressing for children. Here are some tips for talking to your children about divorce productively.

October 15, 2023

Divorce is difficult enough for couples, but it can be especially confusing and distressing for children. As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your kids process this major life change in a healthy way. When handled thoughtfully and honestly, these conversations can minimize negative impacts on kids. Here are some tips for talking to your children about divorce productively.

Choose the Right Time

Timing is important when discussing divorce with kids. Avoid talking immediately after a heated argument with your spouse when emotions are running high. Instead, choose a time when you are calm. However, don't delay too long either. Kids need time to process and prepare as the divorce moves forward.

Create a Safe Space 

Find a quiet, comfortable place to have the conversation, free of distractions. Maintain eye contact and give your full attention. Let kids know you are open to discussing how they are feeling. If age-appropriate, encourage older children to ask questions.

Use the Correct Language

Speak directly while avoiding overly negative terms like "failed marriage." Saying, "We don't get along anymore" or "We will be happier living apart" communicates the message at their level. The talk should ultimately convey that you both love them, and it's not their fault.

Highlight What Won't Change

Kids often worry they will loose connections, routines, and homes they love. Reassure them that things like holidays, bedtime rituals, favorite activities, school, and time with friends will stay the same. If changes are required, explain thoroughly. 

Keep Explanations Simple

Younger children especially have little frame of reference about divorce. Avoid overloading them with complex details about custody, legal processes, or financial matters not vital for them to know. Follow their lead for how deep they want discussions to go.

Make a Family Support Plan

Tell kids who they can open up to during this transition, like family members, counselors, or mentors. If needed, consider professional counseling to help kids express feelings about the divorce in a constructive environment.

Our Fredericksburg divorce attorneys understand this difficult conversation and can offer guidance on communicating with children during the divorce process. Protecting the well-being of kids remains our top priority. Contact our office today to schedule a consultation.

Get in Touch With a Fredericksburg Divorce Attorney Today For Help

Navigating the conversation about divorce requires empathy, honesty, and open communication. Consulting with an attorney who's experienced in divorce matters can provide insights on how to best speak with your children during this time. 

Contact Strentz Greene & Coleman, PLC, law firm, at (540) 479-1511 to schedule a consultation.

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